mardi 20 avril 2010

Combien faut-il d'informaticien pour changer une ampoule ?

J'ai trouvé cette perle sur

>> How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

On Wed, 14 Jan 1998, Paul Bleisch wrote:

> What are light bulbs?

On Thu, 15 Jan 1998, Steve Baker replied:

Oh dear. I wish people would RTFM...

lightbulb(1) lightbulb(1)

lightbulb - Convert electrons to photons

lightbulb [-wattage number]

lightbulb reads a stream of electrons from standard input and
produces photons on standard output.

lightbulb <110_volts_ac>light

The following options apply to lightbulb:

-wattage Sets the rate at which electrons are converted
to photons.


xmas_tree_lights(1), streetlamp(1), led(2)

lightbulb is known to fail unexpectedly after some unknown
number of applications. Repeated complaints to the authors
of lightbulb have failed to come up with a fix for this
bug. The only known workaround for a crashed lightbulb is
re-installation from a fresh copy of the source media.

I believe M$ Windows is based on lighbulb because they
share the same bug - and the same workaround.

It is important to ensure that the input stream is correctly
formatted or the lightbulb may crash unexpectedly and with
undefined results.

Do not attempt to apply lightbulb's input files to other
UNIX tools (esp. 'finger(1)'), however, lightbulb's output
stream is fairly compatible with most other devices.

Consult a hardware engineer.

Your operating system must support sockets and switches.

Avec des commentaites de ce style :

How many Microsoft programmers does it take?
  • One dev to spend five minutes implementing ChangeLightBulbWindowHandleEx.
  • One program manager to write the specification.
  • One localization expert to review the specification for localizability issues.
  • One usability expert to review the specification for accessibility and usability issues.
  • At least one dev, tester and PM to brainstorm security vulnerabilities.
  • One PM to add the security model to the specification.
  • One tester to write the test plan.
  • One test lead to update the test schedule.
  • One tester to write the test cases and add them to the nightly automation.
  • Three or four testers to participate in an ad hoc bug bash.
  • One technical writer to write the documentation.
  • One technical reviewer to proofread the documentation.
  • One copy editor to proofread the documentation.
  • One documentation manager to integrate the new documentation into the existing body of text, update tables of contents, indexes, etc.
  • Twenty-five translators to translate the documentation and error messages into all the languages supported by Windows.The managers for the translators live in Ireland (European languages) and Japan (Asian languages), which are both severely time-shifted from Redmond, so dealing with them can be a fairly complex logistical problem.
  • A team of senior managers to coordinate all these people, write the cheques, and justify the costs to their Vice President.

Ou comme ceci :

I just rent light from the cloud.
Pour java :

  • One to design the ILightBulbChanger interface,
  • one to implement the LightBulbChangerImpl class
  • one to create the LightBulbChangerFactory
  • one to design and create different LightBulbChangerStrategies
  • one to throw all that out and just change the damn bulb
Pour les autres
Combien de programmeurs C++ pour changer une ampoule ?
Six. Un pour la changer et 5 autres six mois plus tard pour comprendre comment il a fait.
Combien de programmeurs Erlang pour changer une ampoule ?
Aucun, le programme la changera tout seul.
En ruby : aucun,on envoie un message ampoule.changement(); l'ampoule se changera elle-même.

Conclusion on trouve des pages de MAN(uel) sur tout y compris le sexe


SEX(6) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual SEX(6)


sex - have sex


sex [ options ] ... [ username ] ...


sex allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s) speci-

fied in the command line. If no users are specified, they

are taken from the LOVERS environment variable. Options to

make things more interesting are as follows:

-1 masturbate

-a external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option

-b buggery


bestiality with

-c chocolate sauce option

-C chaining option (cuffs included) (see also -m -s -W)


get a date with the features described in

-e exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net)

-f foreplay option

-F nasal sex with plants

-i coitus interruptus (messy!)

-j jacuzzi option (California sites only)

-l leather option

-m masochism (see -s)

-M triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option

-n necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program

kills it)

-o oral option

-O parallel access (orgy)

-p debug option (proposition only)

Printed 2/15/87 2/15/87 1

SEX(6) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual SEX(6)

-q quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am)

-s sadism (target must set -m)

-S sundae option

-v voyeurism (surveys the entire net)

-w whipped cream option

-W whips (see also -s, -C, and -m)



is a list of default partners which will be used if

none are specified in the command line. If any are

specified, the values in LOVERS is ignored.


/usr/lib/sex/animals animals for bestiality

/usr/lib/sex/blackbook possible dates

/usr/lib/sex/sundaes sundae recipes

/usr/lib/sex/s&m sado-masochistic equipment


^C (quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied.

^Z (stop process) is usually quite messy.


Author prefers to be anonymous.


Oldest program ever.

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